First semester porfolio- piece i would like to revise

The piece I would like to revise, would probably be the piece on how I fell off of the giant stone jackrabbit. I thought of this story when she said if we had any injuries that we wanted to write about. So I thought which one I should write about (I have allot of them by the way). So I picked it, and I just wrote the concept of the whole story. But I would like to change it a little bit so it makes more sense, and tells a little more about what happened, and add some things like an awwubis to make it sound better. That’s why I would like to change it because I think it could be way better than it already is. The genre of the story is a short story.drew

First semester portfolio- favorite piece

My favorite piece I have written this year would probably have to be the one about my dad and his accident that he had. Here is the gist of the whole thing my dad was working in his bucket truck (he is an electrician) and it was icy outside. He reached down for a tool and he fell out of his bucket on to his truck. He just thought he had knocked the wind out of him, but he didn’t. He broke 3 ribs punctured a lung and had internal bleeding (he had to get 12 blood transplants). How I thought of writing about this is when my teacher Mrs. M asked if we had any accident or if our family members have, so I thought of this. The genre of the story is a long story. It’s my favorite story because it took me a long time to write and I put a lot of effort into writing it (it was 5 pages long).